18 February 2015


I signed up with a personal trainer.  YAY!  I had one before, several years ago and loved it (it was a friend so it was free).  Here...it's expensive and we don't get a discount at the gym where I teach.  I've wanted to sign up with one for a while but never wanted to bite the financial bullet.  I finally did. 

I went for my first session today and I was really excited to get back to working really hard in the gym.  He promised a tough workout but I figured he'd underestimate my ability and be surprised.  He did not.  Or, perhaps I overestimated my ability.  I made it through the first set of exercises just fine (about 12 different exercises or so).  Shortly after starting the second set I had to stop.  I was really lightheaded.

As an instructor, one of the things I tell participants at the start of class is that if they feel dizzy, lightheaded, nauseous, faint or like they're going to throw up, STOP.  I've never had to stop a workout before.

This is normally me.
I felt like a failure.  After sitting for a couple minutes I was able to start again but only made it through 1.5 more exercises before having to stop again.  The trainer decided that was enough for one day and he was right to make that call but I was very disappointed in myself and felt pathetic...like I was making excuses even though I knew I wasn't.  It was a tough workout but not by any means the toughest I've ever done.  And I workout a couple times a week so it isn't like I'm starting from zero.  I have no explanation as to why I got so lightheaded. 

The trainer said I did fine but really, what's he going to say?  "That was sad...I expected more out of you!"  Of course not...you can't keep clients that way.  I wish he had said that, though.  Why?  I don't know.  I'm really hard on myself and I guess I want others to have the same high expectations of me that I have. 

How I felt today.
I feel like this experience was good for me in a way.  It showed me that I have work to do (although I already knew that) and that things aren't as easy as they were when I was younger (I'm fighting this notion of getting older pretty hard!).  I'm looking forward to the next session. I like a challenge and clearly this is going to be one!  Hopefully this will help me turn around some of the bad-eating habits that have crept back into my life (hello cookies and ice cream that aren't in my house because I ate you all).  Can't perform well if you're not eating well, right?

Have you been in a situation where you didn't perform the way you expected/wanted?  How did you deal with it?


  1. You listened to your body and for that, you were successful!
    I understand though, I am extremely hard on myself and am constantly struggling/working on this.
    Working with a trainer has been very humbling for me. I am continually comparing myself to myself 5 or 10 years ago. I have to remember to be the best me that I am today. Not who I want to be or who I used to be.

    1. I went again Friday and today and made it through the whole workout both days. Today he changed things up and on the 3rd round (fewer exercises in each round but more reps) he offered me lighter weights. I'm pretty sure I growled my refusal at him. I know what you mean about comparing yourself to what you used to be able to do. I don't like not being as strong/fast/able :( Working on acceptance.