I wrote this in February and then sat on it trying to decide it if it was what I wanted to say or not; whether or not I'd said too much. I haven't felt the need to change anything so I think it's finally time to hit the "Publish" button.
I haven't even had time to process my trip to Belfast this past weekend (which was now 4.5 months ago) but I know if I don't write this now I'll be composing it in my head for two years but it will never make it to the page. As you can see (although I don't know if there are any "you" left out there since it's been almost two years since anything made it to this page) I seem to have trouble getting things out of my head and onto the page. I write things mentally all the time but never seem to get them here any more.
Ever since my visit to Belfast in 2019 I'd read some books and watched some movies and learned more but still felt like I had so many questions and wanted to go back. It's such a complex issue and it feels like the more I learn the more questions I have. If you haven't read the previous post you should probably do that first but real quick: the two sides are those who believe Northern Ireland should be part of the Republic of Ireland (predominantly Catholic) and those who believe Northern Ireland should be part of the United Kingdom (predominantly Protestant). The media lazily portrayed it as a religious dispute but it is so much more than that with roots that go back a couple hundred years. But anyway, when I say things like each side or both sides this is what I'm referring to.
And as a reminder, Northern Ireland is currently part of the United Kingdom. But the negotiations of how Northern Ireland will be handled since Brexit (because it is part of the United Kingdom but on the island with the Republic of Ireland and shares no land border with the rest of the United Kingdom) are still being worked out. The current British Prime Minister was in Brussels (capital of the EU) for further talks on the Northern Ireland protocol. But for the first time ever the most recent election has a very narrow majority of seats in parliament going to the party wanting Irish reunification.
When I found out that one of my favorite musicals, Girl from the North Country (go see it if you have a chance!!!), was making a stop in Belfast, I decided it was time to make a return visit. A friend who had never been to Belfast (or Ireland at all) and wasn't really familiar with the Troubles, but quickly went down the rabbit hole of interest, decided to go with me. And I'm glad they did. When I went the first time I really wanted to process what I'd just learned about and become fascinated with with someone else and I had no one. It seemed everyone else was like me and while they'd sort of heard the term "the Troubles" or heard about some bombs or something in Northern Ireland, they really weren't very familiar with it.
This friend and I come from rather different backgrounds and have pretty different belief systems but both felt that the reason we weren't more familiar with the struggles happening in Northern Ireland was essentially because it was a dispute between two groups of pasty white people which just isn't what gets people's attention. The more we talked, both before we went and after, we both had the same questions and lot of the same reactions and conclusions. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
I contacted the tour guide who took me around when I made the quick hop there from Dublin for a 2nd Troubles tour with a rather out-of-the-norm request. Having already done two tours of West Belfast to see the walls and the murals, what I was looking for was to just sit down and talk to people.
My ideal scenario was to be able to find a multi-generational family who would talk to me about their experience. Actually, two families; one from each "side" of the troubles. I knew this was a pipe dream. Next best would be one guide from each side at the table so that there could be a back and forth discussion. Unfortunately, as I was to learn, even that isn't really possible. I'll explain in a little bit.
What we were able to get was one guide from each side - separately - for time to just hear their stories and ask them questions. This was not a small feat. In order to get these individuals to agree to do this (as opposed to the standard tour information) we had to confirm that we were NOT reporters and that we would NOT be recording the discussions. We also made it clear that we were NOT there to pass any judgement and that we didn't come down on either side of the debate. We were just genuinely interested in listening to them share with us what they would and that we would not be offended by what they said about the "other side" or by things they may have done. Remember, the Good Friday Peace Agreement released all prisoners convicted of Troubles-related crimes including murders, arsonists, etc.
I'm not giving any specifics about the individuals or their personal stories that they told us. We felt very privileged to have been given the opportunity and for what they shared with us. Both individuals told us their stories, their backgrounds, how the Troubles impacted their families and their neighborhoods, how they personally left the groups with which they had been affiliated and why, and what the lasting impacts have been on their lives and families and neighborhoods since. The trauma and the scars, both physical and phycological, are deep and it's likely that a good portion of the residents of not only Belfast but Northern Ireland in general bear.
We had hoped to get time with the two of them together to ask them both some questions but we didn't know that even now, with the 25th anniversary of the Good Friday Peace Agreement just two months away, they can't be seen talking to each other or on the "other" side of walls - in the opposite neighborhoods. It's still dangerous. This is what I alluded to when I said it wasn't possible to sit down with them both together for a discussion. Even if they were willing it isn't safe for them to be in the same place.
But we did, very quickly, when the first was handing us off to the second, get to ask them both one question and the response was both promising and heartbreaking. We asked them what the key is to really ending the conflict and moving past the divide since the walls are still up and the gates still close every night 25 years after supposed "peace." Both individuals said it has to start with integrated education. Without that they don't stand a chance. Approximately 93% of schools in Northern Ireland are segregated. But when asked if people would be willing to send their kids to an integrated school they both said that most people would not. That it would still be 3 or 4 more generations before this sees a resolution.
Not only education but pretty much everything is separate. There are separate doctors and hair dressers and pubs and shops and swimming pools, etc. One of our guides pointed out that on both sides of the walls you will see giant murals dedicated to people and groups and events that were paramilitary and, let's call a spade a spade, violent and responsible for many deaths. So if this is what people, and especially young people are seeing every day, how are they supposed to move on...move forward...move past this? Or are they just being constantly reminded that they are supposed to be angry?
Do they agree on anything else? We don't know. We didn't get to ask all the questions we had because there simply wasn't enough time and what they had to tell us was so compelling that we didn't want to interrupt them. We left with more questions than we went in with.
I did ask the "stay part of the UK" representative what would happen if another referendum was held and the outcome was to reunite with the Republic of Ireland. They said they would accept it.
I'm hesitant to go into what I took away from it because I want to remain neutral in case I decide to go and do this again. I do think it is easier to get stories from one of the sides than the other and also it's easy to see parallels between this and the American Civil Rights struggle, South African apartheid, and the Israel/Palestine conflict just to name a few.
But like any war, regardless of whether Northern Ireland remains British or eventually returns to the Republic of Ireland, there are no winners when lives have been lost, families and communities destroyed, and 25 years after the supposed "peace" agreement there are still miles of walls dividing neighborhoods and it's not safe for two former enemies to be seen together.
I'm not sure where to go from here. Do I continue researching and attempt to keep going back to talk to more people? Is it even possible to really understand something this complex as an outsider? Or do I let it go because it is difficult to get people to agree to talk and it's not like I'm going to solve anything. I don't know. I have a lot of un-listened-to podcasts on other topics because I've only been listening to podcasts about the Troubles lately (if you're interested, The Troubles Podcast with Oisin Feeney is very good and nonpartisan). We'll see what happens after I've had time to think through it all and figure out how I'm left feeling about everything.
Oh, and I found out that the cages over the back gardens on 2 of the houses mentioned in the previous post did come down and have stayed down so far. Can't count out little bits of progress.
I feel like this post is really vague and probably boring since it has no pictures and doesn't even tell an interesting story. Like the Troubles, this post feels very unresolved. Maybe that's how it should be.
